OK, so here it is, the official PUNS thread. Shout out to @sewcraftyme @Danacscott …
Did you hear about the girl who was so cross-eyed that when she cried tears went down her back? And, she got bacteria (back-tear-ia).
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Yknow what the baker said when he opened his store? I’m bready to dough!
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@UltraOmiga - It said: “It’s been a while since we’ve seen UltraOmiga — their last post was 2 years ago.”
Hooray! This thread is a success if things like that happen, glad to have you back! 
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Hey bby. Do you have corona? Because I can’t stop looking achoo.
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二本の箸をください。これらは全部日本からです。
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@Fraggles - That translates to “Please give me two chopsticks. These are all from Japan.”
I’m afraid I don’t get it?
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That’s because you don’t know how to read it, look at the romanized script for a hint. It’s a pun, obviously a straight translation isn’t going to work very well.
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So the first character looks like 2 vertical chopsticks, right?
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I suppose it does, to a degree. Doesn’t really have anything to do with anything though, that’s a two. Chopsticks is the 4th character which looks like a game of pick-up sticks, but then most of them do. Very few kanji are actually ideographs.
Romanization
Ni hon no hashi wo kudasai. karera ha zenbu Nihon kara desu.
Fully dissected frog
二本 (nihon) means two “long cylindrical things” +no hashi = “Two chopsticks”
Which reads exactly the same as 日本の箸 = “Japanese chopsticks”.
They’re all from Japan… you get it? right? it’s hilarious!
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My brain hurts.
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I told my friend 10 puns, hoping at least one would make them laugh. No pun in ten did (no pun intended).
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I made a corona joke.
But rereading it now, it was tasteless.
ba dum tss
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I’m assuming this in itself is a pun, right? (since loss of taste/smell is one of the symptoms of corona)
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Only batman can help here.
Ok okok. One more that I like.
Some people got corona later in the year. But some got it right off the bat.
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Batman … isn’t he that major league baseball player with the highest batting average? 
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Just found these as a comment on a truly awful shark movie, lol
Q] How does the GINGER Bread Man, Make his bed?
[A] He uses COOKIE sheets, of course!
{Q] How much does SANTA have to pay, to park his sleigh?
[A] Nothing ,because it is ON THE HOUSE.
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This is a horrible pun so answer at your own risk.
Q: What do you call a rooster that lays eggs?
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A bird that doesn’t follow nature’s rEGGulations. He should be doing his job to imprEGGnate instead?
EDIT: If you tell a bad joke, that’s also called laying an egg.
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The oviparouster?
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it’s just a transeggsual
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