Hello all,
Due to an oversight on my behalf I purchased 911 Operator a few days back without realising that linux was no longer supported. I tried to request the most recent linux build from the developer but I didn’t get a response. I hope someone can enjoy it as much as I had hoped to.
To enter: Tell me a joke! I’ll leave it open for a couple of days and discobot will choose the winner.
what do you get when you cross a rabbit and a garden hose?
Hare-spray
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses don’t jump
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Thank You for doing the giveaway.
EA turning off the pay to win in game purchase system.
Temporarily, stating clearly it will be back later.
Now that’s a joke!
Here’s my current favourite joke:
A woman gets on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slams her fare into the fare box and takes an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her senses that she’s agitated and asks her what’s wrong.
“The bus driver insulted me,” she fumes.
The man sympathises and says “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”
“You’re right,” she says. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.” “You do that,” the man says. “Here, let me hold your monkey for you.”
I start laughing so much that I struggle to get all the way through this joke when I’m telling it, much easier in text.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down
My 9/11 jokes are pretty fly, but at least they don’t fly into buildings.
Louis CK
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen the mall.
Why don’t blind people skydive?
It scares the hell out of the dogs.
A logician fathered a baby.
A co-worker walks up to him and queries: “Was it a boy or a girl?”
And the logician says: “Yes.”
A good joke would be if the bot chose me as the winner.
It would be a joke because I made no joke.
Umm yeah I’m out…
This is one my boyfriend made up (though I’m sure someone else has thought it up before too).
What do you call a cow that can’t produce any milk?
An udder failure.
How’d you make a hormone?
Don’t pay her!
Donald J. Trump
There are two types of people:
EA has made a good game without microtransactions.
A Star Wars joke:
During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has the low ground.
What do you call a dog that is a magician?
An Abracalabrador!
thanks for this opportunity I like telling jokes :3
so here’s the best joke I know, I think:
3 men get sent down to hell, upon reaching hell the men are greeted by Satan, and three doors.
“you were all sent here because of your obsessions, repent and you may return a good man”
The first man was obsessed with all the pleasures of lust, and all things alike, so Satan opened one door, which was filled to the ceiling with every kind of woman (or other desire) he may ever want, and threw the man inside, locking the door for a hundred years.
The second was obsessed with booze, and all things alcoholic, so Satan opened the next door, which had a never-ending self-replenishing booze fountain, that mixed itself with assorted fruits, and a bar that never ends, Satan shoved the second guy in there and locked the door for a hundred years.
The final man, was a massive stoner, and loved all kinds of marijuana and paraphernalia, and so Satan opened his last door, which was a room caked to the walls in weed, chairs and beds, made of weed, and Satan kindly gestured and the man walked in the last room, he locked the door for, you guessed it, a hundred years.
…
after a hundred years Satan returns to the rooms and saunters up to the first door, and carefully opens it, the first man comes flying out “I’m abstinent now mister Satan I’m so sorry I’ll never unappreciate women again!” so Satan sends the mans soul back to earth to be reborn as a good person.
then he goes to the next door, and opens it, the second man comes screaming out, then clasps his head hard in his hands “I’m so sorry mister Satan I don’t know how I coulda loved that stuff I’ll never touch a drop of booze again” and so Satan releases him.
then he reaches the third door, and opens it wide, but nothing comes out, Satan peeks his head in and notices barely anything has been touched, and the stoner is hunched up in a corner. He sees Satan and turns around, and Satan sees a solitary tear fall down the man’s cheeks, as he says to Satan “Have you got a light mate?”
I bought 911 Operator (the ability to hang up on callers is what convinced me), so I’m not competing. But thank you very much for the giveaway!
My joke has a pretty long story behind it so bear with me, as I give you the full context as to why this is so lo…