I’ve found this combination to be one of the worst things that has ever ‘happened’ to me. I just keep making it worse too. The worst is when folks that just don’t know me don’t give me a chance because I look like that ‘cool guy’ at the bar. Any thoughts?
I have the same problem…well…maybe
I am over 60 and people just laugh when i tell them i play games on the PC and then it progressively gets worse once i tell them I love sci fi and Star Trek.
edit: deleted previous post because I replied to @delenn13 by accident. Content is the same.
We should hang out some times. I’ll buy you a drink and we can watch Spock being awesome together.
Honey, with all due and proper respect, try to be a “good looking” woman (in quotes because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz) in any field of your life ever.
People treat you like a doll when you’re playing The Witcher 3 and frown when you smash buttons aggressively because bloody Geralt has to roll like a spinning armadillo to avoid dying for the uptenth time and it pisses you off.
It sucks because you’re doing your job and 50 year-old married men start hitting on you because they think you’ll spread your legs to get them to sign a deal – you won’t.
It’s bloody anxiety inducing and nerve-wrecking because rich men can walk around in sneakers but if you don’t wear heels you’re “unprofessional”.
All these examples happened to me, in the last 3 months.
We could say I know what you’re going through.
Well, asks you, what do you do, then?
I always do my best to state my business up-fucking-front.
“Hello my name is CoralineCastell I work with Example Company and I’m here to Do Such Business. This is what we offer, this is why I think this is a good opportunity for you and these are our prices. Thank you for you time.”
“Hello my name is CoralineCastell. I’m a huge fan on point and click games such as [insert famous name here] and [insert famous name here]. I think that such and such genres are fantastic because they offer gamers the possibility of [insert pretty words like “immerse themselves in an RPG world with fantasy elements”] like never before, even though I think the Elder Scrolls series (never say “Skyrim”, or someone will point out you’re dumb and that’s just ONE game) and The Witcher series did a pretty good job in that regard. I’m a PC gamer, though, so while I love me some Zork, I’ve sadly never played The Last of Us. What about you guys?”
Is it straining?
How do you do it, then?
It’s automatic and I’ve been doing it for years, inserting little monologues every opportunity I get when meeting someone new so they won’t cut me off down the road to say something patronizing thinking I don’t know my business.
I wish I could tell you I do this preemptively, that it isn’t really needed and I do it because I’m cautious.
It isn’t. As soon as I go buy hardware, or meet new people to discuss games, someone pops out of the ground to tell me something like:
“Yeah but that game is based on a book. You know that, right?”
So my advice to you is:
- Use some stupid “Team Yennefer”, Big Bang Theory, etc T-shirt or something else that provides visual aid at these conventions to make it clear you’re just as “in” as everyone else.
- Talk about the things you like in complex terms so that you show your expertise and draw away people who just approached you for your “looks” or because they assumed you were one of those playboys – or, in my case, “whores” or “dumb women”, whichever one you prefer.
That’s it. Good luck. It’s a tough world out there.
I wouldn’t know about this struggle, when you are good looking and a scientist, everyone assumes that’s normal.
Ok… ok… stop hitting me…
I would recommend being yourself, if people are judging your book by the cover, **** 'em, keep doing you. Honestly, why should it matter if people don’t want to hang out with you… Looks around at the empty, paper strewn apartment and the collection of dead insects and D&D books.
oookay, maybe that won’t work out so well again, I have no data about how well this strategy will replicate (but I doubt it is robust).
Can I recommend trying to build cred with a community somehow? Say, I don’t know, post something on an online forum. Unfortunately, I guess I don’t understand bar culture, but why worry about what other people think.
Shine on as a crazy star… Cause life is more fun in the deep end of the human experience.
EDIT: Also I just have to give you props for the well-setup humble brag there.
I just decided to play dumb and be a privateer. That was quite a post there though. I don’t suppose I can complain if I made the choice to stick up for a woman like you in general though. Not at least, in public, ostensibly. It’s taken as rude. As if I should be so lucky to simply be a smart man with looks. Maybe it’s because I’m from Austin. Guys like that are a dime a dozen down here and I’ve been here for 30 years or so. Detest the Big Bang theory. My friends are getting married. Not gonna wear any t-shirt that doesn’t automatically insult half of every millennial. Just too old? Mid-life crisis stuff. Rambling at any rate.
It’s more that the nerd/geek community in general has turned its back on the some of the people it needed the most. If you’re any more physically imposing, intelligent, handsome or god forbid any combination of those than Chris Hardwick then apparently the other nerds have orders to shoot on sight. Some sort of Hunger Games rules or something. I think maybe people are just brainwashed and lovin’ it now. It’s like multi-socio-cultural apartheid. Everyone’s all compartmented into their cliques and has forgotten the world outside it. It seems to be a Western phenomena. Could just be my imagination… At any rate, my post was more toward a discussion concerning gamer quirks and less a cry for help. I honestly could use less real life friends if anything.
I usually apply Zero Fucks, and any issue vanishes!
You should try, it’s guaranteed!
Older lady. Yowza.
Should definitely give that another shot.
But seriously, I don’t get how someone’s appearence should matter. This is your issue? I’m more concerned about other people’s actions; if someone is judging you by your look, they really are judging themself instead.
@delenn13 a super-serious board manager got me into playing CoD. That’s how I’ve bought my first Xbox… you don’t really know people, untill you get to kill them in CoD XD
It was more with specific regard to the gaming community and just with reference to my recent experience. There’s other life issues. One of those I helped make it cool and now no one likes me kind of a things. Gaming and my looks are really the least of my worries in that regard anyway.
Well then Narcissus, welcome to the forums and beware of ponds as that might end badly for you. Maybe the reason you tend to find a cold reception is because you lead with telling people about how pretty and smart you think you are? Also you might want to hold off on vilifying the very communities you claim you want to be part of, that could help.
But hey maybe you can’t be both pretty, smart and good at first impressions. Your worth will be judged as it is for anyone else here, by the post you make.
I’m actually surprised that this is an issue, well for men anyway. Female gamers, or heck any woman with niche interests, have a rough time but I’d never consider that an equivalent problem for a man.
I’m unsure how OP’s problem presents itself, because even If I don’t appear the way my interests might otherwise dictate, anyone who spends some time with me will see my passions radiate like a beacon. Passion is always going to shine through and if those people aren’t giving you a chance it sounds more like a communication issue rather than one of appearance. Irrespective of your looks if you can’t adequately talk to people you’re going to struggle with any audience.
There are people on Chrono that I respect immensely and I’d consider to be friends without knowing what they look like…that doesn’t matter. They’ve communicated their personalities through word and deed, and irrespective of their appearance they’d find a warm welcome at my table - similar interests and experiences trump most other things. In fact people become more attractive because of those personalities.
OP, if you share interests with people and they’re not giving you a chance, it sounds more like you’re shy rather than stunningly handsome…
[And as ever a fantastic post from @coralinecastell.]
Pics or didn’t happen.
What the fuck is this thread about?
NOW I actually spilled what I was drinking.
Guys anyone has a name for the kind of sense of humor @Fraggles has? Fucking sent me in a giggle fit.
I have 0 ideas what you meant by this at all. And I read it 5 times. Help? Someone? Anyone?
It was just an example… and I have no idea what millennials have to do with anything. Or marriage.
Or what anything has to do with anything at this point.
Well, here is the solution for you!
Have you considered moving to Japan?
Was going to post this clip when I first noticed this thread, but only now I feel justified to do so.
guys come on, it’s just cuz u guys don’t get it, but it all makes sense, look:
Todd? Todd Howard?
no srsly though, how could they be anything but grateful? I know we sure are cuz it made all our lives easier seeing that our hobby became accepted thanks to you!
As for the issue with the looks, dude, that’s just cuz yr so irresistible that you make all those guys suddenly question their own sexuality, and they’re just not ready for that, so they just don’t know what to do with themselves and avoid u cuz they fear what might happen otherwise, I have the exact same problem though, u can ask @xist, he knows, boy does he know, i send him nudes all the time, like this one:
OH MY HEART!..Never ever do that when I am drinking something. Now I need you to come over here and lick my screen off! You bad boy!