GOMBLO THE GOBLIN
Oi, eh! Lookit this here, huh? Hahaha! A website what’s selling a game about goblins, eh? I don’t play much games meself, but I always knows when it’s goblins, it’s bound to be some kind of wild evil shite they’re up to, neh? Like a gang of lil greenies chowin’ down on someone’s babies, or taking their nice things, our causing some kind of light mischief like you’d expect one to. It almost makes me hate em meself, and I am one!
And yet, what do me eyes see then there? Are these humans actually playing as the ol’ gobby wobby? No jokin, eh? Hahaha! Now I’ve seen all of it, I wager! I truly do! Wow, just look at how it says “Styx: Master of Shadows”, eh? And I suppose you’re meant to be Styx, then, yes? In the game? And you just rip off doll heads, and shake all the feathers out of pillows, and kill good honest people, am I true? No? Ye don’t? Ye just sneak in and fight for truth? A goblin? Just like, wow, it really is like the great poet Gob Dylan said, “The time here truly do be a-changin”…
And yet, something is strange about all this, isn’t it? Like mayhaps the goblo bein the main boy is just a misdirect to lul us down a bit, ye know. Maybe it’ll dash me dreams that way, eh? And yet, I keep walking towards the blasted thing, ready for another round of answers and probably just some good old fashion henchmen abuse. I’ve seen it from the best of ‘em. I don’t want to think of meself as some kind of mindless drone, just because I’m a goblin. Plus, the game’s only five gold. Don’t be a silly. Even if it’s fleeting, as a goblin, it’s worth it just to imagine yourself free.