Back to Today's Deal

Milanoir - 4/23/19 - $7.50


Today’s deal is Milanoir!





You know, the rookies always make the same mistake. They finally make it out here to the big show, and every one of them wants to jump straight to vice or homicide, but what they never tell you in Police school is that the pixelated crime unit is worse than all of them. And it just goes to show you that if you thought you could just be any resolution today and get treated the same by the cops, you got another thing coming.

The pixelated crime division was first pioneered in Italy in the 1970’s. They say the cops are always the last to know, and something was definitely going down, but all the public cared about was who was killing all these “squarebloods” and what could be done to stop it. Everybody always used to say dumb shit, like “where’s your extra lives?” or “how much to play”, but then people started showing up dead, with their sprite in two pieces, and now in Milan they know the deal.

But like I say, it’s still not better, and as a 3D human, maybe I’ll never understand. Or maybe it’s just a bunch of flat, 60 fps, violent Quentin Tarantino fans who thought they make a game just like their favorite movies, except for real. But I’ll tell you this, one doesn’t work ten years at this desk without learning anything, so before I get back to work, I’ll leave you with this: don’t underestimate them just because they look like they came out of a SEGA Genesis. Even square bullets can kill.

The official trailer for Milanoir:

Our favorite Steam reviews:

As always, use this thread to discuss this deal, talk about the game and find other people to play with!


“TARANTINO-ESQUE EXPERIENCE” is such an awesome descriptor. Please find more opportunities to use that! (Also hi I never actually left.)